Why do some women stay with men who mistreat them? Does the pain make them feel alive? Perhaps they've absorbed the lyrics of love songs that perpetrate the myth that true love involves heartache. Shelley (not her real name) called into a radio show recently to talk to a relationship expert about her rocky relationship with her boyfriend: 'Every now and then things are perfect between us. We get along, and we're so happy and in love. And then one day I'll come home from work, and he won't be talking to me. Or he'll suddenly snap and accuse me of lying. What should I do?' The expert suggested that the boyfriend suffered from anger management issues. The woman was not to blame for his behavior. 'Okay,' she said, 'But I love him to death.' The expert said, 'But you can't have a healthy relationship until he gets help.' 'Okay,' she repeated, 'But I love him to death.' Then she launched into the spiel about how happy she is until he freezes her out. The expert tried to reason with the woman, but he wasn't getting through. She loved the guy; that justified her allowing him to treat her like garbage. This woman did not want to solve her problem. The fact that she kept saying, 'But I love him to death,' indicated that she merely wanted the expert to validate her reasons for continuing the relationship. Here's another sad story: A woman is married to a man who controls her and accuses her of flirting with men at church. Their relationship is volatile and sometimes violent. But she loves him. She's crazy about him. He's the air she breathes. When things are calm, she will pick a fight with him. It's as if she needs him to be jealous. She needs him to control her. She interprets his unhealthy behavior as an affirmation of love. She gets off on the Cheap Nike Air Max passion and excitment that comes with hurling lamps --and in one case, a baked potato-- and then kissing and making up. And so does he. The fact that they're unhappy, resentful, and disgusted 90% of the time doesn't matter. Even though this woman calls friends Nike Air Max UK every single day to complain about her husband, she won't leave him. She won't even seek counseling. Ten years from now, she'll be crying about the same things she cried about this morning. If you're in a rocky relationship, but you refuse to get out, ask yourself why. What's in it for Nike Air Max 2012 you? Do you truly believe that you have to suffer for love? So many women (and more than a couple of men, believe it or not) worry lines into their faces over a love that makes them miserable. Yet they refuse to leave the relationship. But love should not hurt. You can attract a happy relationship if it's what you truly want. Do you believe that? Or must relationships be fraught with upset to be exciting and passionate? Your beliefs determine your destiny. In the end, it really is up to you. Isn't it time a man treasured you and made your happiness a priority? Isn't it time you let him? When love hurts, it's time to find a love that doesn't. Go for it. Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of 'How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.' Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com  
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